Thursday, February 24, 2011

Home

Anyone else get that song, “Home is Where Your Heart Is” from the play “Dirty Dealings in Dixie” stuck in your head when you think of the word home? No, just me? Thanks Waukee Middle School Theater Department for that gem.

We just returned home from a major Febcation. 16 days in Utah just me and the kids. Less than 48 hours after getting back the whole family travelled to Eastern Shore for the holiday weekend.

I’m tired of living out of suitcase.

I did the math. In a little over two months, I’ve been on 4 trips (10 flights) all of which with at least one child in tow. Two of them without Harley.

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So many children

You know what? I’m exhausted. And I’m done travelling for awhile.

It was great to be home in Utah. Utah will always be home. It’s also really great to be back home in Maryland. Because Maryland feels like home now too. Which feels great. I love both Utah and Maryland. I consider both home. This is big. And good.

I had a major epiphany last fall. Mind if I share? It was an ordinary October Thursday and the weather was perfect. Not too hot, not too cold. Jeans and a t-shirt, roll down the window and feel the breeze kind of weather. The sky was blue and the trees were bleeding in all their autumn glory. The kids and I were headed home from our new (impressive!) library. Good songs were playing on the radio. I started thinking about how life is pretty fabulous right now and how happy I am to be experiencing this life, right now, with the people (namely Harley, Anderson and Max) around me. Our townhouse and area are great. We’re back near our old friends. Our new ward has excellent friend potential. Harley’s research is going well. We’re healthy. We’re busy. Oh, and I’ve found BALANCE. (How I have learned that balance and outlets – creative, social, intellectual -- outside your kids are CRUCIAL.) Best of all, we are out of the ghetto. Major improvement there. I thought to myself, “Life is far from perfect, I have my challenges. But I am happy. Really happy.” (Sidenote shout out to Fabulous Right Now: Back when life wasn’t as happy I made a conscious effort to focus on what was fabulous in my life by doing Fabulous Right Now on the left side of this blog. It started as a way to remind me to regularly count my blessings ((and to share things I love and because I thought this concept was so great)). And it works! There is incredible happy power in counting your blessings and naming them one by one!) So there I was driving past one of my favorite spots in Gaithersburg, counting blessings, with bluebirds singing on my shoulder when the epiphany hit me: I love my life in Maryland. This is a big deal considering the title page of my journal our first year here was “I Hate My Life in Gaithersburg.” I was kind of kidding. But kind of not. After a year I liked my life in Gaithersburg, but it took four long years to reach full blown love. By coincidence we currently live down the street from our first apartment out here, but I don’t feel like I’m in the same place at all. Life in a stressful career working nights in Gaithersburg is totally different from life as a mom working days (and some nights) in Gaithersburg. I also think my life is 10x better now because we have our own washer/dryer. Just saying. Great, important, huge epiphany, right?! As soon as I got home I called Harley, then my sisters and my parents and shared it with them.

This epiphany makes coming home from home easier.

These four trips were really fun but they were a lot of work. Especially that last one to Utah without Harley. Especially when my kids got sick. I was ready to come home to Maryland and home to Harley. My bed feels great. My house, my Costco, my closet, my car, my computer, my little family… it all feels great.

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Anderson’s happy to be back in his bed too. Annnnd he’s back to his regular naps and (semi) regular bedtime. Hallelujah!

Now if only I could zap my family, best friends, mountains, L&T wraps, Cafe Rio (oh wait!) and chocolate covered cinnamon bears here.

Note: This does not mean Harley has convinced me to stay here forever (though some days I think that’s his evil plan). We are set to graduate in August 2012 and still intend to move west. For so many reasons. But for now, we’re happy right here in our Maryland home.