Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy Dependence Day

Last year I was here celebrating independence.

This year I'm staying home celebrating dependence.

I had a baby. Twelve days earlier than due. Six days earlier than planned. In the wee hours of Sunday morning we depended on people in the ward to attend our meetings, sub our classes and, most importantly, drop everything -- at 4AM -- to care for Anderson.

For the next two days we depended on dear friends to continue to watch Anderson while Harley, Max and I recovered and bonded in the hospital.

The day we left the hospital, and twice since, we’ve depended on thoughtful, delicious meals from wonderful friends. One of these friends brought a small gift for Anderson. It made his week. He’s more excited about that green Hot Wheels car than he is about his brother. Another friend not only showed up with a meal but stayed to clean every dish after we enjoyed it. Another friend presented her yummy “4th of July BBQ on a platter” meal a la Martha Stewart.

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Wow. Just wow, right?

The timing of Max’s birth was less than ideal. My mom couldn’t get here. My sister, who was supposed to train in to help us, instead flew to Utah for the funeral. Thank goodness local friends and acquaintances let us depend so heavily on them.

Without my mom and without Cheryl, I’ve depended whole-heartedly on Harley. With everything that has happened in the last week and a half, there have been a LOT of tears. The happy kind and the sad kind. Harley has been my hero through almost all of it. (I say almost because, during the throes of labor, Harley would not stop complaining about a canker sore. A canker sore. I’m moaning through a contraction and he’s grabbing his mouth, wincing, and telling me, “Baby, you don’t know what pain IS!”) Otherwise… he’s been my supportive, calm rock, putting up with all the emotions, hormones and drama that death and life bring. Today (it all caught up to him?) he spent the morning throwing up.

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I fully acknowledge my temporary dependency on narcotics.

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I wish I could depend a little more on sleep like this guy.

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Tonight, my mom arrives. You better believe I’m depending on her to:

A) cook

B) help clean

C) sit and talk with me for hours

D) be so silly with Anderson

E) be funny with me and Harley. I’m ready for us to laugh so hard we can’t breathe. I think she is too.

E) love on Max

Each day I watch Anderson battle between testing his independence and succumbing to his dependency on us. He is SO BIG. And still so little.

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Mostly this holiday I’m celebrating Max…

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and his complete, whole, perfect dependence on me for everything.

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Which I love.

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And I think he loves too.

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This year our family humbly observes the 4th of July. Happy Birth Day M.R.K. Let freedom rest. God bless needing each other.

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More Max pics here.

15 comments:

Ming said...

I LOVE this post! Yea for fantastic ward peeps & friends stepping in to help when family couldn't. Yea for a SERIOUSLY adorable baby Max...that pic of him smiling = to die for. Yea for a husband so willing to help (so sorry he's sick). And yea for you, just because I love you so much!

Ming said...

PS pics of you in hospital with the light coming in the window and you looking down at Max = amazing

Sarah S said...

I am so so impressed with that fabulous 4th of July bbq platter! Seriously above and beyond. I'm glad you have such great support there in DC to get you through this crazy time. And ohhhh I remember the tears/hormones after I had both babies. But especially after Charlie because I got less rest in general. Having that second baby is tough but so wonderful at the same time. Good job Harley!! I hope you feel better soon. You too Wendy! I missed my grandpa's funeral because I was 8 1/2 months prego w/ Charlie and it was so, so hard not to be there. Have fun with your mom and soak her up! I'm glad she can come soon.

Kaija said...

What a beautiful post. I have this theory about families -- that deaths and births often come to families very close together, for whatever spiritual reason, as if heaven only has room for so many spirits in a family, so when one returns, another one departs for their journey on earth :) Love to you all.

Mom said...

Beautiful post Wendy. From now on you can DEPEND on your mommy heart breaking when your children need you and you can't help them. I will get to DC ASAP.

anna banana said...

You are amazing! Great post, and welcome to baby Max. He is darling, love his toes (saw them over on harleyK) and personally I think he totally looks like Anderson (hair color way different of course). At any rate he is darling, especially in his smiling picture. Good job King mama!

ps. 4th of July platter - to die for!

Kara said...

Beautiful post. Love your little family. Love that we got to come over and love on little Max this week.

Anonymous said...

He is getting cuter by the day. Sorry mom wasn't out there this morning. Great post. 4th of July spread = incredible. So glad everyone is happy and healthy.

Mike said...

Thanks Wendy. Glad you have such nice friends and such a great husband. (Cankers can be brutal by the way) Sorry Mom couldn't make it today but I think Linc is getting better.

Love

Dad

Jess said...

Ah, the joy/pain/exhaustion of that first week with a baby. Such a wonderful and awful time. I'm glad your mom is coming--I think week 2-3 is the hardest, when the exhaustion totally overtakes the adrenalin. Delight in your dependence, and with your mom's help, get some rest! (Harley too!)

Anonymous said...

Congratulations to the KING
family for Beautiful new Baby and dependable Friends

Uncle Frank

Anonymous said...

Congratulations to the KING
family for Beautiful new Baby and dependable Friends

Uncle Frank

lys said...

Thanks for posting this. I've been checking your blog & FB like mad for updates. (I actually read this the day that you posted it, but I'm just now getting around to commenting!) You have been on my mind so much lately! I can't believe all that you've been through in the past few weeks. Wow! I'm sure that it's tough for you to be so dependent right now (you being Miss Independent), but I'm sure that everyone loves to be able to help you out since they finally get to repay you for all the favors that you've done for them. I, for one, would LOVE to be there to help you! So glad that your mom is there now. It must be such a relief to have her there. I love you, Wendy, and I think you are amazing. xoxo

Trevin and Kalisha said...

congrats Wendy. He's so cute! I'm still envious of all your blogging skills and will probably come back to ask you more advice. Until then just relax and have a great time enjoying your beautiful boys!

Rob said...

Many of us "depend" on posts from good bloggers like yourself to make our days better.
Thank you for being you, and thank you for bringing Max into the world. Congratulations Kings! Can't wait to meet the fella.