Friday, July 23, 2010

As Long as I’m Stealing and Venting…

I just enjoyed lunch with a friend. By “with” I mean I sat alone at my desk, eating grilled cheese and catching up on her blog. Kind of feels like lunching together though, no?

I laughed out loud at this post (I laughed at several of her posts, actually. She’s funny!) and knew it was so fitting with my last post I had to share. Plus we all know how much I love a clever lyrics change-up.

You’ll read no more woe-is-me-ing on this blog today. I’m done. My boys are asleep. I’m going to nap.

P.S. MOUSE HAS FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Mom List

Today started out rough.    I wanted to do about 100 things.  Including blogging.  I wanted to blog all about my beautiful new baby.  I wanted to blog all about the way my 2-year-old LOVES him and the way my heart swells to see it.  I wanted to blog about how tired I am.  I wanted to blog about how different things have been this time around.

Those posts will come.  Fingers crossed.

Instead I’m blogging about someone else’s blog post:   “The Mom List.”   It’s  a funny, too-true bucket list and it’s what’s workin’ for me today.  This morning, Anderson woke up too early (7:30, which is normal, except that he went to bed late so why isn’t he sleeping in late???  Why does it only sometimes work that way?) soaking wet and cranky because of it.  Hello laundry.  I won’t bother detailing the rest of the first 30 minutes of my day but know they included the following:  surveying empty mouse traps (Yes.  We had a mouse.  In our house.  With a newborn.  Shudder!!!!!!!!!!!!  We caught him.  I’m PRAYING he didn’t have friends.), cleaning up a newborn blow-out, picking up after a messy husband (anyone else’s husband apparently incapable of putting his breakfast dish IN the dishwasher or cream cheese back IN the fridge?), and then trying (read: failing) to be patient with toddler shenanigans.  Anderson “show-D-D” was in top form this morning.  He could NOT decide what to watch and kept changing his mind 30 seconds into each show.  “NO MOM!  NOT THAAAAAAT ONE!!!”  (Yes, I let my kid watch a show in the morning.  Go ahead.  Judge me.)  Then came the “breakfast-D-D.”  Make up your mind, child!

All that and it was only 8:00 AM.  I miss my mom!  As type this I remember all your lives/kid counts/challenges/continual amazingness  and I think, “actually, that wasn’t even that bad.”

Then I read this on this blog.  It made me laugh.  Now my day isn’t so rough.  I know many of you will relate to “The Mom List.”  For those who don’t want to follow the link, I copy/pasted the full list below.  I refrained from bolding the things I’ve checked off, but know that I’ve done MANY of them.

And, gee, when you look at it that way, I’m so accomplished!

**FULL CREDIT given to Stephanie at Mormon Mommy Blogs.  This is not my list.  It’s hers.  I hope she finds my sharing it flattering, not copyright infringing.  Not that she’d ever know, but you know. 


Now that I've had my baby (June 4, she's beautiful.), I'm ready to conquer the world! Awhile back I ran into this list of 99 Cool Things to do Before You Die, so I'm ready to start checking items off like, "Skydiving" and "Bungee Jumping" and "Climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro."

But then that song by The Byrds starts playing in my head. Sing with me now: "To everything, turn, turn, turn, there is a season, turn, turn, turn. . ."
So I've written a more appropriate list for this season in my life. Which ones have you done?

1. Felt the world shift and change when you held your newborn baby.
2. Thought, "Hey, they didn't tell me about this when I got pregnant."
3. Given away perfectly good pants because they just don't seem to zip up anymore.  4. Walked around with snot on your shoulder and pretended it's normal.                          5. Wrestled with a car seat and won.                                                                                                    6. Cursed the makers of really loud annoying toys.
7. Rocked your baby until she fell asleep, and then kept rocking anyway.
8. Gained superhero kissing powers -- you kiss it, it's okay.
9. Learned the art of counting to three, in a loud, patient voice.
10. Avoided swearing like a pirate when a small child stepped on your bare feet with heavy-heeled princess shoes.
11. Dressed up as a butterfly and floated magically around the room with blanket wings.
12. Made a tent out of blankets and chairs and crammed your really large body into it.
13. Learned you really aren't a patient person, but tried to work on it.
14. Listened to really bad, heartfelt, vibrato out-of-control, children's music that for some reason your children love.
15. Succeeded in doing an awesome hairstyle on a squirming, uncooperative child.
16. Decided that bribery really does do the trick.
17. Read a Parenting book and thought, "Do they even have children?"
18. Gotten nothing but lessons in patience and enduring to the end from the past three years of church.
19. Allowed others to think you're crazy as you drive down the road doing the actions to "Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed."
20. Smiled and managed not to punch the people without children who give you advice on how to discipline them.
21. Pitied the pioneers, who didn't have movies/television.
22. Thought sadly about landfills, but put it out of your head by remembering what dunking poopy cloth diapers in the toilet is like.
23. Managed to get the grocery shopping done with one or more children in tow.
24. Put yourself in time out.
25. Given up career opportunities, wistfully, but gladly.
26. Thought, "This is so worth it. I have the best job ever."
27. Thought, "This is so not worth it. I quit." But woke up, fixed breakfast and took care of the kids anyway.
28. Heard your child say, "I love you so much!"
29. Watched with delight as your child lurches around the room with their first dinosaur-like steps.
30. Ignored your dirty house to play ponies.
31. Taught a child to use the potty. (And wanted to start an ad campaign with signs posted above every public toilet that read, "If you can use this, thank your mother.")
32. Tried a home business to make just a little extra money.
33. Actually sewn something, that turned out pretty good if no one looked too closely.
34. Played the choo-choo or airplane game to try and convince your child that food is not evil.
35. Slipped, tripped or twisted on a left out toy.
36. Fished pennies/small toys/anything small out of your child's mouth, while keeping the panic at bay.
37. Lost brain cells while watching a Baby Einstien movie.
38. Wondered where the instruction manual is.
39. Thought that you could improve upon the baby design model by adding three lights on the side of each baby-- one for hungry, one for tired, and one for poopy.
40. Listened with chagrin as your child repeats your favorite adjectives.
41. Crept into their room at night, just to make sure the covers are on and that they're still breathing.
42. Thought while breastfeeding, "No wonder people get breast implants. My shirts actually fit."
43. Laughed out loud at the optimistic "6 weeks after birth prognosis" by your male doctor.
44. Learned that you really aren't a pleasant person with only 2 hours of sleep.
45. Tried to explain why clothing is mandatory.
46. Had to eat your words because, "I would never do it that way," but then you do.
47. Called Poison Control.
48. Left the store without buying anything because your child is screaming.
49. Had to apologize to a stranger.
50. Wanted to petition that handicap stalls also be available to mothers with two or more children under the age of six.
51. Said, "That's not funny," when really, if you weren't the parent, it was funny.
52. Felt extreme anger at another child when they hurt your child.
53. Cleaned up throw up more times than you wish to count.
54. Eaten a soggy cracker.
55. Thought sadly of hungry people as you scrapped your child's uneaten food into the garbage.
56. Threatened to do something awful (and untrue) like leave your child at WalMart, or cut off their toe if they didn't stop misbehaving.
57. Even though you vowed never to say it, yelled, "Because I said so."
58. Not left the house for three or more days.
59. Discussed buying stock in paper towels, wipes and diaper companies.
60. Conversed with other adults about poop, drool, and snot.
61. Thought, "My gosh. My children are the most adorable things in the entire world."
62. Smiled when your kids hugged each other.
63. Thrown away Halloween candy (after fishing out all the chocolate bars).
64. Realized the true use of a timer is not for baking.
65. Thought, "Isn't there at least some period of their lives where they adore me and listen to what I say?"
66. Cried and cried, because you feel like you're just not cut out for this sort of thing.
67. Felt triumphant when your child spelled their name without prompting to your now impressed neighbor / relative / friend.
68. Put on boots, coats, hats, gloves and snow pants and just as you're walking out the door hear a rumbling from your child that indicates severe diaper problems, or having your older child say, "I have to go to the bathroom."
69. Realized that children's books are sometimes written for adults.
70. Had to remind yourself not to talk in a sing-songy, supercalm happy voice when speaking to other adults.
71. Sometimes the only constant in your day is that it will eventually end.
72. Discovered that a really childproof room is empty and padded and only exists in insane asylums.
73. Had to backpedal quickly when you told your child not to do something and they said, "But Mommy, you do it."
74. Dug out a sliver.
75. Been ignored. Over and over.
76. Felt that if you get touched one more time you might have to become a hermit.
77. Laughed (with just a bit of hysteria) at the magazine picture of well-behaved children that put together beautiful crafts.
78. Gotten an unexpected kiss and a hug.
79. Had your heart melt when you hear, "Hold me, hold me."
80. Cleaned up a blow-out diaper, and managed to salvage the onesie.
81. Thought, "Oh, my parents were right."
82. Prayed really hard that you're raising them to be good, thoughtful, happy people.
83. Hoped they won't remember the time you accidentally dropped / forgot about them.
84. Hoped they will remember the times you read stories / sang / played with them.
85. Felt like the Wicked Witch of the West.
86. Given an Eskimo kiss.
87. Felt your heart strings tug when they first let go of your hand to venture off on their own.
88. Pretended you liked something just to get your kid to eat / do it.
89. Wore matching outfits with your kids and thought it was awesome.
90. Tried to keep the car nice by not allowing food, then gave up and tossed food randomly at your children in an effort to quiet them.
91. Heard your child yell excitedly, "Mommy!" when you walk into the room.
92. Caused extreme giggling (on purpose).
93. Vanquished a monster with a spray bottle.
94. Answered "Why?" questions with preposterous and crazy answers but still not managed to stop the "Why?"s from coming.
95. Bought a really padded bra for protection from elbows and other stray limbs.
96. Played the, "I'm going to hide in the _____" version of Hide and Seek.
97. Learned to traverse the kitchen with a small child clinging to your legs and the phone on your shoulder.
98. Told yourself, "This is for her good."
99. Known this is the best and hardest job in the world. (But wished for paid time off)

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Bad Blogging Disclaimer

So I had a babyEarly.  Have I mentioned this?  Yeah, sorry, I know I have.  I keep saying it because I can’t quite get over it.

I had every thing, day and minute leading up to my scheduled induction planned out.  There was going to be serious cleaning, organizing, shopping, projecting, beautifying and blogging before Max entered the world.  But then Max came 12 days before his due date and six days before my induction date, so none of that stuff happened.  But guess what?  The nesting instinct doesn’t automatically leave when your nest fills.  You still want to clean sweep your cupboards, buy a baby calendar and get a pedicure.  For two weeks I’ve slowly been checking things off my list, between resting and love, love, loving little Max… who’s right here, by the way.

DSC_0096 DSC_0085   I’m not the only one loving Baby Max.

So blogging.  I had two posts 90% finished pre-Max.  I just had to clean them up and hit publish, but I never did.  Now they feel horribly old, especially the one entitled, “Final Prego Thoughts.”  I’ve gone back and forth about whether to publish them.  It feels backwards (and pointless?) to finish them now.  But it feels wasted to leave them as drafts.  I took the time to write them.  The events and feelings definitely happened.  I finally decided they should see the light of the world wide web.  Even if no one reads them because they’re old.  Even if they only publish for my To Do List checking, record-keeping, personal sake.  So today I publish them.  Outdated.  Uncleaned up.  But here they are, times two, posted below.  For the record.  For my record.  Now maybe I’ll have the energy to tackle:  the birth story.  (I know you’re on the edge of your seat to read that one.)

P.S.  Max pics on Facebook here.

Final Prego Thoughts: Unabridged & Unedited

*Unexpected events have thrown a wrench in my labor plans. Cheryl is flying to Utah for the funeral, so she isn’t coming to watch Anderson during my induction. We’re now scrambling to solidify Plan D. Good thing we have so many great, local friends who are so willing to help us. It’s been a stressful, exhausting week. Honoring the end of one life and celebrating the beginning of another has me weepy. This circle of life stuff is emotional.

*Sometimes I just want the catheter now. Then I wouldn’t have to walk to the bathroom EVERY. FIVE. MINUTES.

*Remember that one time Harley said to me, “Be honest. Is having a baby just like taking a really, really satisfying dump?” Um, yep, just like that. The worst part is he was completely serious. This is the same man, who, when my epidural wasn’t working properly with Anderson rolled his eyes at me. You know how they ask you to rate your pain on a level of 1-10? I gave my pain an 8. It was bad. I mean, of course, it could get worse. It can ALWAYS get worse. I could be DYING. Jack Bauer could be cutting a SIM card out of my stomach with a knife (anyone else not able to shake that scene from their nightmares?). I supposed THAT would be a 10. But an 8 is still pretty bad. Harley’s response, “Only an 8? You’re fine.” I know it’s because he hates to ask anyone for ANYthing. Even if they’re working for you and their job is to help make you comfortable. You know, like an anesthesiologist. Harley doesn’t want to “inconvenience” them. However, he apparently doesn’t mind inconveniencing me. I had one request when we entered the hospital with Anderson. I didn’t want him to have any hint of the following on his breath: onions, beef jerky, vinegar or garlic. Harley loves these foods, but they don’t exactly leave his breath very loveable. So what does he snag from the vending machine within an hour of arriving at the hospital:


I was so bugged.

*I’m a little worried Anderson will have a negative association with the baby. He understands I’m in pain and knows it’s my big belly/baby’s fault. I moan, groan and sigh quite a bit. I’m beyond the point of noticing, but I realize it’s bad when Anderson says, “Oh Mama, dat hurts!” and points to my belly. Yes, Anderson, it does hurt. I also yawn. All the time. To that I get, “Oh Mama, are you soooo tired?” Yes, Anderson. I am.

*We’ve been going through Anderson’s baby book, calendar, web albums, pictures, etc. in preps for the baby. Anderson loves seeing himself as a baby and hearing the stories. I hope this will help him transition. Also, Rachel bought us this book which has been GREAT.

*I’m feeling confident going into this scheduled labor and delivery. I am ignoring everything the neonatologist said about traumatic vaginal delivery and instead embracing the optimism my OBGYN has I’ll be 100% successful. The awful labor issues I had with Anderson weren’t pushing issues, and I actually had a good recovery. I mean, it was no walk in the park, but it wasn’t in any way “traumatic.” Just normal. My issues were the epidural only taking on one side and my sssssslllllllooooooowwwwww dilation. Everyone I talk to (thank you for all your supportive, positive comments!) has convinced me the epi thing was a fluke and the dilation will naturally be better since it’s my second child. I believe them.

*Why is Anderson picking this week to fight his naps (he’s NEVER done this) AND learn to climb out of the crib? Again. The mattress is already dropped to the floor because he climbed out at the lowest level. We can’t trap him any more. We don’t have room for a big boy bed until we move. Help!!!

DSC_0009It’s all shenanigans with this one.

*Harley eats rice cereal. And likes it. Same with baby food.

*We have big plans for our last weekend as a family of 3. We’re running errands and digging out, cleaning and assembling baby stuff (car seat, swing, activity mat, bassinette, etc.). We might go swimming or take Anderson to his first real movie. Then we’re all going out to dinner. Just me, Harley and Anderson. I have this weird feeling I’m going to miss Anderson when the baby comes. Never again will we be just this:


On the other hand, I’m all sorts of excited to have a new baby. I watch this about 10 times a day and get sentimental. I’ve been re-organizing all our pictures and videos on the computer (ugh, such a major undertaking) which results in watching hours of Anderson as the cutest little Bug I’ve ever seen. It has been the perfect emotional preparation for this new baby. I can’t wait to do it all over again.

She came, she shopped, she conquered.


The last few months have been a non-stop party. I’ve loved it. But it’s been exhausting. It all ended with a bang: Jessica Diva visiting for a week! After the DMDG, she flew back to DC with me. We had a great time. We (and by “we,” I mean mostly Jessica) did major retail damage, namely at a certain Ribbon Outlet Store. Jessica decided she needs to be mummified in grosgrain ribbon when she dies to justify her investments. The best part was when Jessica confessed, “I’m not even crafty. What am I doing with 23 huge spools of ribbon?!”

It was great to spend time with Jessica. We hung out. We laughed. We caught up. When she volunteered to paint my toenails (I can’t reach them), I nearly cried. That is a true friend! I introduced her to my favorite places. We visited some of her DC staples, and together we discovered a fabulous new store! Here’s a look at our good times. (And here’s a look at our good times last time.)

DSC_3461 DSC_3458

IMG_0136 Hmmm… maybe I need to look into this 1960’s invention on display at the American History Museum.


Best friends @ The White House


More Best Friends @ The White House


Anderson & Harley at Old Ebbitt Grille


Georgetown Cupcakes. Yes.


Jessica met the Theatrical Thursday Ladies (Me, Jessica, Kara, Bethany & Rachel). The night included chocolate, funny stories and, as always, a healthy dose of theatrics.

I introduced Jessica to some of my favorite DC friends. Little did I know she’d already been covertly communicating with one of them to plan a surprise non-shower for me! My ever-thoughtful friend Ligia was dead set on giving me a baby shower, but she knew I was very anti 2nd child/same gender shower. She decided to be sneaky and give me a “non-shower party” anyway. When Jessica and I happened to lunch at one of my favorite spots Saturday and my friends just happened to be there, I knew something was up. Ligia explained, “It’s not a shower. It’s just your friends having lunch to support you and celebrate this GREAT thing about to happen. Oh and maybe there are presents.” Well, how can I argue with that? Each child IS a great thing and does deserve a celebration! It was really fun to have Jessica in town for my “non-shower,” and to have her not just meet, but 100% hit it off with my friends. They loved her and she loved them. Jessica’s just kind of great like that.

DSC_0027Abbie (and Madeline), Ligia, Shauna, me and Jessica at the “Non-Shower”

I loved your visit Jessica. Come back soon!


Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy Dependence Day

Last year I was here celebrating independence.

This year I'm staying home celebrating dependence.

I had a baby. Twelve days earlier than due. Six days earlier than planned. In the wee hours of Sunday morning we depended on people in the ward to attend our meetings, sub our classes and, most importantly, drop everything -- at 4AM -- to care for Anderson.

For the next two days we depended on dear friends to continue to watch Anderson while Harley, Max and I recovered and bonded in the hospital.

The day we left the hospital, and twice since, we’ve depended on thoughtful, delicious meals from wonderful friends. One of these friends brought a small gift for Anderson. It made his week. He’s more excited about that green Hot Wheels car than he is about his brother. Another friend not only showed up with a meal but stayed to clean every dish after we enjoyed it. Another friend presented her yummy “4th of July BBQ on a platter” meal a la Martha Stewart.


Wow. Just wow, right?

The timing of Max’s birth was less than ideal. My mom couldn’t get here. My sister, who was supposed to train in to help us, instead flew to Utah for the funeral. Thank goodness local friends and acquaintances let us depend so heavily on them.

Without my mom and without Cheryl, I’ve depended whole-heartedly on Harley. With everything that has happened in the last week and a half, there have been a LOT of tears. The happy kind and the sad kind. Harley has been my hero through almost all of it. (I say almost because, during the throes of labor, Harley would not stop complaining about a canker sore. A canker sore. I’m moaning through a contraction and he’s grabbing his mouth, wincing, and telling me, “Baby, you don’t know what pain IS!”) Otherwise… he’s been my supportive, calm rock, putting up with all the emotions, hormones and drama that death and life bring. Today (it all caught up to him?) he spent the morning throwing up.



I fully acknowledge my temporary dependency on narcotics.


I wish I could depend a little more on sleep like this guy.



Tonight, my mom arrives. You better believe I’m depending on her to:

A) cook

B) help clean

C) sit and talk with me for hours

D) be so silly with Anderson

E) be funny with me and Harley. I’m ready for us to laugh so hard we can’t breathe. I think she is too.

E) love on Max

Each day I watch Anderson battle between testing his independence and succumbing to his dependency on us. He is SO BIG. And still so little.


Mostly this holiday I’m celebrating Max…


and his complete, whole, perfect dependence on me for everything.


Which I love.


And I think he loves too.


This year our family humbly observes the 4th of July. Happy Birth Day M.R.K. Let freedom rest. God bless needing each other.


More Max pics here.